Thursday, March 16, 2006

More News: Dutch Demand Tolerance! (Please)

This is my day for news-blogging, I guess. I still haven't made it through the first section of the newspaper.

The Netherlands has rolled out a new compulsory exam for some immigrants (it doesn't apply to EU nationals, asylum-seekers, skilled workers above a set income threshold, or citizens of the US, Canada, Japan, Australia, New Zealand and Switzerland -- just about anybody who might possibly be reading this, actually).

As part of the exam process, applicants have to watch a movie about Dutch life, along with the usual studying of random historical facts and points of national pride. The article mentions that the film shows a gay kiss and a topless bather, but not whether legal drug use and prostitution is also depicted -- I'd guess not, since those would be nice shocking things to dismay Americans with, and so would have certainly been included in the article. Apparently, some of the questions on the exam are based on the movie.

I imagine the movie is like all tourist films anywhere: bland, pleasant-looking but boring puffery about how wonderful everything is. But I do wonder about that exam now. I wonder if the questions are like those on-line hentai quizzes?

Q1: The naked girl's hair was what color?
A: Green
B: Purple
C: Orange
D: She had a shaved head.

Q2: The gay man to the left was pierced where?
A: Eyebrow
B: Nose
C: Left Testicle
D: Behind the Knee

Of course, this is an official government form, so it's probably more like this:

Q396: The Netherlands believes in toleration of sexual relations of what type?
A: Between a man and his wife only after Allah has blessed their marriage
B: Between any two consenting people above sixteen years of age
C: Among any number of consenting people above sixteen years of age
D: Among any carbon-based lifeforms, as long as the sheep consents

No comments:

Post a Comment